Sharing Your Child // Toni Allman Part 2
The Blending Place Podcast Episode 5 Your efforts don’t go unnoticed and they probably will never be applauded and they will probably never get the
He has a plan for my life. He’s guided my life to this point and I believe he’s going to guide it in the future. I have to believe that being a stepmom now was always meant to be part of my story.
Summary + Minute Moments
Dr. Kasia Flanagan is the owner of the company Everyday Legacies – an organization created from her passion for capturing and preserving life stories. It can be complicated weaving in new stories with old ones. She shares her experience of doing just that as a stepmom of two girls.
1:14 Dating During COVID
3:04 A New Stepmom
5:08 Different Rules at Different Homes
10:04 Communication With Spouse
15:13 Transition Days
21:03 The Power of Stories
29:21 Healing Through Jesus
32:03 To My Stepdaughters
Kasia’s Company: Everyday Legacies and @everydaylegacies
“Jet Lag Day” Video by Kristina Kuzmic
Lindsey: Once upon a time today’s guest and I were almost roommates, but that’s another very long story for another day. Dr. Kasia Flanagan is the owner of the company every day, legacies, an organization created from her passion for capturing and preserving life stories. You are going to love this conversation with this inspiring woman.
Lindsey: Once upon a time today’s guest and I were almost roommates, but that’s another very long story for another day. Dr. Caja Flanigan is the owner of the company every day, legacies, an organization created from her passion for capturing and preserving life stories. You are going to love this conversation with this inspiring woman.
Kasia: I live in Fort worth and I had moved here in September, 2019. And, you know, I was 31 and not married. But I didn’t move here thinking my husband’s going to be here. I moved here and six months later I was on mutual and we connected and we started talking and we talked for a couple of weeks and then we met in person at the very beginning of COVID.
The day that we met for our first date is kind of the day that the world shut down and everything got canceled. Everything. I remember sitting in front of my calendar and just crossing things off. And as I did that, the spirit was just like, oh, you don’t have anything to do. Go spend time with Jared.
It was, it was different for me because he was the first and really the only person that I’d ever dated that, had been married before, or that had kids. And I wasn’t, I wasn’t looking for that. It sounds bad to say that I wasn’t open to it, but I really, I, wasn’t not in a bad way, but just like. Someone like me, like that had been in school or, been working or whatever, and they just hadn’t gotten married yet and was doing other things that they felt like the Lord was leading them to do. So, his story was definitely different than I expected.
And then we got married really quickly. We got married. In June of 2020. It’s really interesting how it happened. It was like time slowed down I had dated a lot of people before that and some of them I had dated for over a year or two years in one case, you know? So it wasn’t like we were, we were like rushed into it kind of people it’s just that, that was what was right for us. We both had a really strong, a really strong. Confirmation that our relationship was right. And that we needed to move forward as quickly as possible. So we did. And I think about that all the time. Cause we just passed our two year mark and it was really hard after we got married, like really hard were in the middle of a worldwide pandemic. I lived in a new state and I have zero friends and now I’m like in a completely different world. Like I’m like, you know, instant mom. And wife and I’m living in like totally different culture. And there were a lot, there was a lot to adjust to. And I just think about that a lot, because I’m so grateful that we had the faith to get married when we did and with all the uncertainty and unknowns that we, that we had before. It’s it’s the best thing. And, and now being married for two years, I finally feel like I’ve come up for air a little bit. This is the norm now. It quite a while to get used to that and to find my place, I was just swimming around and now I finally feel like, I can stand up. I’m good. So we’ve been married just over two years and he’s the best. And I have two stepdaughters from his first marriage. They are 10 and six.
Lindsey: How did they adjust to having you in their life? Honestly, they’re amazing. And I don’t really know how, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because they were young enough or I don’t know, maybe it’s just their personalities. I really feel that the Lord prepared us for each other. We fit together really well. Sometimes, I’m like, how are they not my children? We just fell in love with each other really quickly. We’ve adjusted really well. Not to say that there haven’t been hard things for sure, but yeah. But it is, it’s a blessing. And I really do feel like we were just prepared for each other. This was always meant to be. Part of our lives, the Lord. I just think that the Lord knew, I mean, I don’t think I know that he knew yeah. Put us together for a reason.
Lindsey: I think our life experiences prepared us in some ways, I also feel like in the preexistence, we spent time preparing for these specific souls that we were going to be put into these families with. That bond or connection maybe is very instant and others, maybe not so instant or maybe the connection doesn’t come. Whether that connection comes or not though, I believe that we were prepared for this situation with that I think we’re given more tools to be able to face difficulties but the hard stuff can be really, really hard even when we have been prepared.
You said that it was a big year of adjustment, well, two years now you said you finally feel like you’ve come up for air.
What were a couple of those hard things that you face?
Kasia: I would say that, although the love and the connection was there becoming a step-mom. It’s. I mean, it’s, it’s a lot of adjustment, not just for me, but for the kids as well. You know? And, and there’s, there’s different things. Like we have different rules in our house than they have at their mom’s house and we have different expectations, even little things like I’m a very disciplined person and I’ve always been that way for myself. And then I’ve always imagined as a mom that I would like, I just want my kids to thrive, and I feel like I have. Unique, training on how to do that. Even down to things we eat or like things I keep in my house or just rules about bedtime or screen time and so those are hard to enforce, when you just come into someone’s life.
I remember one time we’d only been married. I like maybe four months or something. It wasn’t very long three or four months. And, we had gone to the lake with some friends and we ended up going out to dinner that night, but it was really late. Like we didn’t get to the restaurant until probably like 8:45 and that’s late. Like, I always, I want to be in bed by 8:45 already tired and whatever is my husband, like his friends. So when they’re with the kids and then my daughter wanted to give order dessert. And at that point it was like 10. And I was like, you’re not eating cake at 10:00 PM. She lost her mind. Like she’s super tired. And then she’s like yelling at me like and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but I’m not really like, none of us should be just like those kinds of situations where it’s just like, you know, and then in the back of my mind too, I’m like, am I really the worst? Am I doing something wrong? But then like, so you just go back and forth. There are things like that.
And so I would say that, although that connection and love came really quickly, it’s not without its ups and downs. And sometimes I don’t know if it’s just what happens in me or my insecurities or anything. It’s not, it’s not like totally constant all the time, like constant, but it’s like the connection. Waxes and wanes.
Lindsey: Yep. I absolutely agree. I feel like as I look back on my relationship with my kids and my biological kids I feel like that relationship, it does the same thing. You know, there’s times where I feel so connected. Like we are there, we are honed in, we get each other. And then all of a sudden, like what happened, what happened?
It really is this constant process of like, I feel so disconnected from you right now. And we are not on the same page with anything or, oh my gosh. Everything you’re doing is driving me crazy right now. So what do I need to do to like shift and be able to start taking those steps towards them. And they might not be ready for that they might want that space. So I need to work on me and I’ll do my best to feel connected. But sometimes there is that gap, even when the love is there.
There can still be a gap.
Kasia: Yeah know that it’s different for different parents, or different step-parents in different situations. Like, you know, some people will say like, well, you know, the step mom is never going to be the disciplinarian.
Lindsey: But sometimes the disciplining is on us. Like our spouses aren’t always around or even when they are around there’s stuff that happens that we have to take care of.
Kasia: And there’s things that matter a whole lot more than me and I think if it were up to him, we would eat cake at 10 PM. In our relationship. I do a lot of the discipline. And when I say discipline, you know, loving discipline, like rules and boundaries and enforcement of those rules. And I think that the kids have responded really well to that because they, and they know how much I love them. I think that that helps a lot with the discipline, because it’s kind of like, it’s like that scripture, and the doctrine and covenants that afterward show an increase of love to him that has been reproved kind of thing. And so I think I really try to do that and I’m not perfect at it. But when there is some boundary of the kids know – this is because I love you and you need to go to bed at eight because otherwise you’re going to be tired tomorrow and you know, and they, they understand the consequences. And so it’s a work in progress, but. Yeah, it’s also, sometimes it’s also disciplining my husband.
My husband has had to learn and I just have to give props to him because, you know, he’s an amazing man. It’s not only adjustment for me and the kids, but it’s a huge adjustment for him. Like you have this established relationship with your children that you have raised, you know, from the time they’re born. And my husband’s always been extremely involved and extremely connected with his kids so they have that relationship already, and then he has now allowed someone else to come in that he has chosen to love and has also now chosen.He shares his children with me and I think that’s gotta be, I mean, I just, I love him for that because he’s willing to let me help and, and not only help, but to have a say.
And that’s really important to me because before we got married, we had that conversation like, what is this gonna look like? I had never imagined being a step-parent and so I didn’t know. I didn’t have any kind of formula I didn’t have any experience. I don’t really know any step parents. Like my parents are divorced, but I don’t have step-parents that stepped in. And so my husband and I talked about that because it was really important to me too, that when we do have more children, that our family is just one cohesive family. It’s not like daddy’s kids that are here with us half the time.
And then, and then the rest of us, like. It’s gotta be, we’re all one family.
Lindsey: Not all spouses want the step parent to have a say like they are their kids, they decide. Having a spouse that allows us in to talk and make decisions together that’s a lot that they have to get used to.
Kasia: It is and I’m so grateful for my husband. And we’ve had really tough times in that regard. It’s scary even thinking about having more kids, because I think it’s, it’s very unique when you get married and your step-parent because you get to co-parent instantly and you see that instantly. The marriage relationship is one thing and a co-parent relationship is completely different. Some of the hardest times that we have ever had have all been around the kids and that’s scary in a lot of ways. It’s scary to me because, you know, I have an idea of like what I expect, what I wanted my family to look like or what I, when I say wanted, I don’t mean like, it’s like, it’s not good, I just mean different. And, um, and, and meaning, especially like, like the rules that we would have at home or the things that we would do as a family or, um, just the way that we would be, I guess. And so those things are the hardest for me and the one my husband and I clash on because he’s like well, you know, I was fine. I raised these kids before. But then we’ve had to have those conversations where I don’t know if it’s this way for every step-mom, but for me, it just, it had to be all, or it couldn’t be. We have to be one family. I have to be their mom too. Or I just, I don’t know what my place is, you know, and I don’t want to be on the sidelines. For me, it had to be like, we are one family. If not, it wasn’t gonna work for me. I didn’t wait over 30 years to get married, to be number two in my husband’s life, every other weekend, you know what I mean? I’m his wife and they have to be our kids, or it just wasn’t that wasn’t what I was looking for. It may be different for other people, but that was, that was our situation.
Lindsey: I like how you pointed that out, because I think it does look different for everyone. For some step-mom’s being able to just enjoy that time that they have with just their spouse. And then they do take that role where they step back either because it’s healthier emotionally or because that’s what they want.
What’s hard is, we can’t necessarily be like, okay, this is how our relationship is going to look. I mean, like we’ve already talked about, right. That connection, waxes and wanes. And we can’t force that relationship to look a specific way because it does evolve. But I think being able to have a say as far as how time is going to look, when you are together, how you want to spend that time together. For me, there’s some times where I choose to step away. Not because things are bad, but because either I need a break or I can see that my kids need one-on-one time with their dad.
Communication is so important with those expectations of what do I need, where am I at? Are these actions aligned with what my values are? And if not, then you readjust and you have that conversation with your partner. Finding something that you can both live with. Maybe meet in the middle and you have cake at nine instead of at 10:00.
One of the things that I want to jump back to really quick, you talked about different rules at different houses, and this is an issue every single step-mom on the planet deals with I think so. How have you navigated that?
Kasia I would say that there is a difference in our kids’ lives because we are members of the church and their mom isn’t.
And so they know that when they come to our house, we go to church on Sunday and our ward. They know that like when we travel we try to keep the Sabbath day holy We don’t go out and that’s different. Those kinds of things are different. We read the scriptures together every night we have like an established bedtime and they know, and it’s because the consistency, I guess like when they come back home it’s hard if they’ve been away for a while. And the hardest thing for me at first too, was just behavioral because they’re allowed to, I guess, you know, they have that established relationship with their mom where they behave in a certain way and she responds in a certain way. All parents do that. But it’s always, you know, there’s like a, there’s an adjustment every time, especially if it’s been awhile since they’ve been home, like right now we’re kind of in this really horrible situation where we haven’t been able to see them it’ll be a month before we get to see them, which we’ll get to it’s rough. It is horrible. And it’s never been this long before. It’s just happened, like how the dates and the summer with our time and stuff like that. So, I’m curious to see how that adjustment goes, because I guess it is always an adjustment and it would be for anyone like adjusting to time zones. There’s always an adjustment period.
Lindsey: I actually just listened to this video and I’ll have to link it in the show notes, but it was this lady who was talking about how that was so frustrating that time of like, oh my gosh, who are these kids when they come back here? So she said that she finally after pushing and pushing back for years she finally said, okay, my kids get a jet lag day. Like we were saying where it’s like a different time zone. She gives them a jet lag day where that day is super chill. Expectations are super low. It’s this time period of adjustment, where instead of instantly jumping in and insisting this is how it is.
Instead it’s this grace period of like, okay, we’re home now, we’re going to relax. And then we’re going to get back into the swing of things.
Kasia: So glad you said that I think that’s really, really helpful. And I think I kind of started to feel that naturally this past school year, because our situation, during the school year, we get them every week on Thursdays, overnight, and then every other weekend from Friday to Monday morning. So basically every other weekend we have them Thursday afternoon to Monday morning. So I just realized like, cause you know, like even rules with like screen time and stuff. When they come home, they’re required to read before they get on their iPads and they only get a limited amount of time.
And then on the weekends that we only see them one day a week. I really try to limit screen time because we want to spend time together and we try to play family games or, you know, eat dinner together and those kinds of things. But, , something I realized was It was kind of unfair like just what you were saying. I didn’t think of it that way, but that is really helpful way to think about it because I just kind of realized that it wasn’t really helpful. So when they come home on Thursday, when it’s only one night that week to spend that time hounding them, like, Hey, do this, do that. And it just was a lot better, I guess, to naturally release that realized just let them be home. It’s only one day this week. And so that kind of I guess goes against the way I am with myself I just I’m like very driven. So it’s helpful for me to step back and realize like, oh, okay I can calm down. Not like it’s a terrible, bad thing. It’s like a motivated by a good thing. But just for me to realize it’s not the end of the world if the have extra screen timer or they don’t read that day.
I think it’s hard as a step-mom too, because I don’t know if other step-mom’s experienced this, but for me, there’s like a natural insecurity even the term stepmom, like, I really just, I don’t really love that term. I mean, I get what it means. It’s it’s weird. It’s like, you’re not really, you’re not a mom. You’re kind of like a substitute mom, but you are the mom, but you’re not. It’s like I don’t have any legal claim to these children. Like if something happened to my husband, they would be completely gone from my life, which was terrifying because I, you know, like I have had to make so much room in my heart and change my entire life for them. And I, you know, I’ve made that adjustment happily with the understanding that, you know, they’re going to be part of my story, a part of my life. And that they’re partly my kids now but at the end of the day it’s still it’s a hard place to be. I’ve gotten better now where disagreements with the kids don’t bother me as much because I realized like they’re just kids and they’re going to be mad at me and we’re going to be fine five minutes later.
But, um, at first that was really hard for me though, too. Cause I just had that insecurity. Like, are they going to hate me forever? Like, am I going to be the scapegoat? Because they’re going to love their daddy. Like daddy can’t do any wrong.
I can be labeled whatever and they don’t have that history with me. So, I’m an easier target, I guess. And so I, yeah, that’s been, that’s a difficult thing. I need to kind of just let that go and be confident enough to realize like it’s going to be okay. , but that’s something that I have had to learn because I think it is driven partly by that insecurity I guess it’s unknown as well. As it translates it to being a stepmom, it’s kind of the same thing where I just want, I want my house to be orderly because my life has changed so much and. Yeah, it’s, it’s a learning curve.
Lindsey: Oh my gosh. Is it ever? I feel like, because as a stepmom, there are so many things that are outside of our control, that it does bleed into this desire to have more control of the areas that we do, even if, maybe in another situation we might not push as hard. Which, you know, there’s consequences when we push really hard as well, you know?
Kasia: And I think that was really hard to becoming a step-parent for a long time, especially when I was alone with the kids, I was hyper sensitive to how I, and I still am to a degree where it’s almost like, I don’t know if you ever had this experience, when you babysat, when you were young, what if I did something wrong? And the kid tells the parent, and then the parent is mad at me. I have the same feelings with my kids. Like what if I do something? And then they tell their dad or they tell their mom, and then she gets mad. Like, I mean, there’s just all these things, you know, I just have that sensitivity.
Lindsey: I think we all have that sensitivity. We don’t know what’s going to the other house.
Kasia: Exactly. Thank you. That’s validating. I don’t know any stepmoms and I don’t have these conversations.
Lindsey: One thing that you said that I want to go back to is , something about how this is a part of your story. Maybe as a background, first of all, your life’s work has been telling other people’s stories. You’ve traveled the world. You’ve done countless interviews. You’ve written a book. I want to know why is it your passion to tell people a story? And if you could speak about the power in the stories that we tell ourselves and others
Kasia: I’ve always been interested in people’s stories. I love talking to my grandparents. I’ve always loved like biographies and autobiographies. Where people come from and famous people or people who have achieved something like how they got where they are, but I never imagined doing what I do now. I have a personal history company it’s called everyday legacies. And my mission, like you said, is to help the people of the world tell their stories. So we do everything from bespoke writing projects that’s unique to every person where we, we write life stories and family histories. We do video histories We do writing retreats and workshops, teaching people how to write their own. I’m extremely passionate about it. The simple answer to the question is I feel like it’s a passionate, Heavenly Father gave me.
because I feel like it’s a work that I need to do in the world. I have lived overseas for a long time. I’ve traveled a lot doing research in my former academic life and then writing that book you talked about. I wrote a history of Germans in Samoa. That’s kind of my specialty – German history in the south Pacific, or at least it was in my former life. I have heard thousands of stories. As I was doing research for historical topics that I was studying, I was looking at all of these events that had happened and it just always struck me how every event came down to people and their life stories, even political events like, Germans in Samoa. There started to be this big group of Germans that moved to the south Pacific, starting in about 1855 an you look at them and it’s this movement and there’s political reasons. And , there’s economic things that happen. And there’s there’s things, but it all comes down to individual people. And that’s where that’s where history is shaped by individual stories on why. All of us have a story.
It’s just so interesting because it seems like our days moved so slowly, but over time, history is shaped by those days and the choices we make in them. And especially when it comes to a spiritual sense, the families that we belonged, how they shape us and how their stories are part of our story. It’s something I’m extremely passionate about, especially when it comes to the gathering of Israel and life in these last days. Knowing who we are, where we come from, how that affects us, whether for good or bad.
I don’t know if that answers your question, why am I passionate about it? But for me, it’s the spiritual thing. I feel like I’ve been uniquely prepared in my professional life to do what I’m doing now. And it kind of spills over into my personal life as well, because I, I have a very strong, testimony that the Lord has a plan for my life and for all of us. And I’m not meaning like he’s prescribed every step we take, but meaning there’s a purpose to everything and where we’re placed, where we are for a reason. And the people that are around us are placed in our path for a reason. I know that to be true for myself and I believe it to be true for everyone. That’s partly why I’m just fascinated by stories because it’s the work of the Lord in my opinion.
Lindsey: So as you think about the weaving of these stories together, as you join this family, they had an existing story and then you became a new part of that story. For you as a stepmom joining later on, how do you weave those stories together and why is it important to tell that story?
Kasia: I’m going to go back to your other question you asked before about the power of the stories we tell ourselves. So for me, it’s very, very important to remind myself of truth. I want to tell myself true stories. You could be the villain, you could be the heroin, you could be the victim. A lot of people are stuck in that victim role, or that villain role. And they never see any good in themselves or the heroin role where it’s like, they can do no wrong. And so I just think it’s really important to tell ourselves truth. And the truth for me is. I’m a daughter of heavenly father who loves me. He has a plan for my life. He’s guided my life to this point and I believe he’s going to guide it in the future. So with that story that I’m telling myself. I have to believe I truly, truly believe being a stepmom now was always meant to be part of my story.
Heavenly father always knew, and I don’t, it’s difficult because like, for my husband, like, I would never say like your marriage wasn’t wasn’t ever going to work. I don’t mean that. The Lord honors our agency and he knows who we are as individuals. He knew that , that it was going to go the way that it went for my husband and his first wife. And that’s not to say that I wished broken marriages on anyone, you know, and this horrible thing to go through, I just believe that the Lord honors what we choose. So that being said, I feel like my stepchildren we’re always meant to be part of my life. And now that they’re part of my story. That means that my story is part of theirs.
So, right now, it’s really sweet. You know, they call like my mom, grandma, and they call, their cousins, like my nieces and nephews or their cousins. And we use that language in our house, my family is their family, because again, that’s how I want them to think of it. But as they get older, they may not feel that way. And they may realize like, you know, that’s, that’s my stepmom’s family and it’s not really my family and that’s okay. They can make that choice. But I think it’s important for them to know my story too, because I think it humanizes me to and they realized that I had a life before them and I didn’t just swoop into their life take away their cake.
I’m a person and the Lord has a plan for me and he has a plan for them and he put us together and for us and speaking for my family, for my husband and me and our kids, that has been a really powerful thing that has bonded us together. As we’ve been married and as we’ve been one family, is just believing that this was always part of the plan because otherwise I think it would be very easy to just be mad at certain things that didn’t work out the way that you wanted, or to just feel like, like, you know, to throw in the towel and be like, this isn’t a good fit. This isn’t going to work instead of really digging deep and doing the work and saying like, we’re meant to be together and we’re going to figure this out, even when it’s hard and we’re going to figure out how to be a family, we’re going to figure out what works for us.
And we’re gonna write our new culture and, you know just making it part of the story.
You use the word weave and I think it really is. It’s. Braiding in different parts. And it’s kind of like one of those crazy, like girls camp braids, like friendship, bracelets where there’s so many different strands coming in. Like my kids now they have a stepmom and all of my family, they have a stepdad and all of his family, they have their original biological families. They have a lot of family now and bless their souls they claim everybody and they’re adjusting like champs but, as I said, as they get older, they’re going to be able to choose like what strands to hang on to and make part of their lasting story. But all of us as human individuals affect each other every day, all the time. And so that, I guess that stepfamily is just that opportunity to weave in a little bit closer and make it part of your story. But again, for me, the most important story that I tell myself, and then I think we can tell ourselves it’s just the truth about where we are and why we made the decisions that we made, including like, sometimes I have to remind myself, I don’t mean this in a bad way like my marriage is struggling, but just real talk. I have to remind myself why I got married and why I chose to marry and those situations that we were in and the confirmation that I received, because those days when it’s really hard, or when I feel like I don’t fit, or I don’t know where my place is, I need to remember, the Lord put me here. And that means there’s a reason. And that means I am supposed to be here. Nobody else can say that. I’m not. If he said I am.
Lindsey: When we remember the beginning and the why to be able to give you the strength and the courage to keep moving forward, when things are hard. It’s very apparent to me that your relationship with God is, is so important. How has your testimony you’ve been impacted by being a step-mom?
Kasia: I see the atonement of Jesus Christ at work really strongly in my life and in the lives of my kids and my husband. Just to see the healing that they have been able to do. And sometimes, you know, especially at first you think about what they’ve been through. The breakup of a family. It’s heartbreaking. I think divorce is sometimes a good thing in ways. I mean, there are situations that people shouldn’t have to live through, I think. It can be a blessing in that way, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not hard and really horrible in some ways. And I just think about what my kids went through and it’s, so sad that they had to go through that and have their parents split up. And that my husband went through what he went through and losing his family and, um, Yeah, those kinds of things. And so it’s just so sad, but it’s remarkable to see the healing that comes and just how the Lord comes in and has stepped in and has wrapped his arms around my husband and around the kids and has helped them to adjust and help them to move forward and has given us a beautiful life, even though it’s not the quote unquote ideal of what, you know, you expect or want your family to look like. You know, when my husband got married the first time he didn’t expect or want his marriage to break up or that things were going to go the way that they did. And so that’s heartbreaking, but at the same time, the Lord is there and he’s also there for me because.
I always felt extremely guided in my single singleness single-hood. I was never one of those people that was like in a rush to get married and I just always felt, and I think that was part of the Lord’s preparation for me as well. I felt that the right person would be part of my life at the right time. And so it just, it didn’t really weigh on my mind too much. And that gave me a lot of time to develop myself as a person. And so I, I have the strength that comes from having lived my own life beforehand and being able to talk to my kids about things that I’ve done or places I’ve been or people I know and love on the other side of the world. And I think for them that that’s powerful too, because it’s different from the life that they’ve lived. And I, and that’s exciting to me because I feel the Lord put me in their lives for a reason too. And I hope that I can make a unique difference in their lives because of who I am uniquely. He’s in my story. He’s now in our story and he was in my husband’s life and in my kids’ lives before me and just, just guiding them. And it’s, it’s beautiful to, to recognize and reflect on how involved he is in our lives and the strength he gives us to get through challenges and the resilience that his grace allows us to have. So, yeah, he’s there everywhere.
Lindsey: In thinking about this relationship that you have with your two-step daughters, I want you to just take a, a minute and speak to them. If they were here in this room, what do you want them to know?
Kasia: You’re going to make me cry. Cause I really miss them right now. Just that I love them. I tell them this all the time, I’m learning with them. I’m learning how to love them and how to give them what they need that I can. Just that I love them and I’m excited for their future. And I’m grateful that I get to know them and be a part of their lives and have them as part of mine.
Lindsey: Kasia’s unique perspective and experiences really reminded me of why it is stepmom’s need to share their stories. Aren’t stories, a great way to learn from one another? To learn from past experiences. To hope for the future.
That’s why I’m here. That’s why this podcast exists. We need each other.
I have learned so much from the stories of others. If you’re feeling compelled to share your story here on the podcast, please send an email to Lindsey@TheBlendingPlace.com.
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